Software Engineering Glossary

or, Defining Computer Terms from a "Marketing" Point of View

forwarded to me by Dave Bendrihem

ALL NEW
The software is not compatible with previous versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN
Upper management doesn't understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH
It nearly booted on the first try.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY
It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
EXCLUSIVE
We're the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED
Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION
All parameters are hard-coded.
FUTURISTIC
It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
IT'S HERE AT LAST
We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE
It's impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS
It compiles without errors.
NEW
It comes in different colors from the previous version.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN
It works through beta test.
REVOLUTIONARY
The disk drives go round and round.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
We'll send you another copy if it fails.
STOCK ITEM
We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
UNMATCHED
It's almost as good as the competition.
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE
Nothing ever ran this slow before.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
We finally got one to work.